How Low Can You Go

So again tonight I went to the only bar in town open on a Thursday night. The Urban Flats which is a respectable flat bread dining establishment on any night but Thursday. Tonight the ladies were clearly having a secret contest of who could wear the the shortest dress. It was like the best of the tunic tops in a fashion face off. The winner no doubt was yellow tshirt dress. I am pretty sure it was her father's tshirt at some point that was embellished and cut to barely cover the cookie ( and yes I do mean that cookie!!!!) I swear to you when she came out of the bathroom I saw every element of her gstring undies. I tried to get a picture but wussed out when she turned around. I could picture her with some over size MMA looking fella and I value my pretty face, that and I was too involved. Yes ladies and gentlemen tonight's blog is peppered by the fact that at heart I am a sport's girl. And Syracuse gave Conn the game of their feakin life tonight. It was 6 OT and it was a beauty and I couldn't tear myself away from the few tv's in the bar to get a picture of the chicas in their short short dresses. I did later see one cross her legs at the bar and was so happy it wasn't a Sharon Stone moment. There was also once again a shortage for quality males and females out in this lovely town. I am reminded that I gave up boys for lent and while I also gave up desserts I will admit to struggling with the latter. ( see my silly friend H got married and I had to have a bite of cake for good luck, and well the flood gates have opened my Sweet tooth and I am officially the devil) I recently came across a dating book by Steve Harvey. ( my friend J watches Oprah way too much and started quoting it to me!!!!) My first thought was another self help book, quickly followed by how is this middle aged comedian gonna help me find my man... well let me tell you after seeing the" how low can you go" contest that went on in the bar tonight, I am thinking the whole world might benefit from steve harvey. First off what makes a lady think she needs to dress like the sluttiest of tarts to get her man. And if she does hook a man in said attire, what the hell does she think will come of it. I have to agree we ladies have let the bar down, way low. I wore a halter top, shorts and my high bebe heels tonight. I tried to leave the hair down but at some point it went up. And I had a denim jacket. I was more clothed then a skier in the middle of winter compared to what I saw out tonight. I don't think its just because I am much older then the crowd there. I want to know what makes a girl think she has to be that girl. I don't ever want to be that girl. I Will be happy to die a life of solitude with my kitty Riley then be that girl. And yes I now have officially admitted to being the crazy cat lady. So back to this town. I saw a lot of things tonight that I don't want to see again. There was a couple sporting more 80's hair then if we were at a costume party. I wanted to ask them to pat it down so I could see the tv in between. It wasn't all bad. My friend R. spotted a hottie in a I Love NY tshirt. I must admit he and his super tall Sasquatch friend were beyond gorgeous. But then I watched them flirt with the equivalent to the female douche bag. There were enough of the lames of both sexes to drive anyone to drink ( thank god for ladies night and free booze). Ughh so here it is ladies and gents in this town you need to be a 22 year old female and either want a guy close to your age, or prefer a sugar daddy. There is sadly no in between. And if you are a dude.. you need to be hot, or have money.. either seems to work. But ladies if you happen to be reading this one.. please cover your flower pot, your money maker, and yes your cookie. As a self respecting older woman I hope to never see y'all in the battle of how low can you go with your hem lines again. I am all about embracing the sexy and I am far from a prude, but don't give the cow away for free. I saw more tonight then one typically sees on redtube or u porn. Ladies Ladies Ladies you hold all the cards, act like it.. It isn't a limbo contest with your drawers as the prize...